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i hate homework
Feb. 20th, 2002 03:18 amit's after 3 and i just finished my lab and hum paper, and it made me super grumpy. i should of course go to sleep, but that would be too logical, and besides, it's not good to go to sleep in a bad mood. so, i decided i'd rant a bit in here...i'd write in my real journal, but the thought of holding a pen does not appeal after the silly lab. so here goes.
what i'm annoyed about may seem pretty silly, but it's really pissing me off, so i thought i'd write. there are two things bugging me right now. the first is that two of my friends, no names mentioned, seem to think that i'm always blabbering about my so called love life, at least whenever it exists. this bothers me a lot. while it's true that i share stories and get excited, it's absolutely not true that i blab, as they put it. the only person besides me who knows all the details of that "one" weekend is the person who was involved in it. i'm rather insulted that they think i'd blab about these things. and this after i've even mentioned to one of them how difficult it's been not to talk to anyone about it, since it's too personal to share. i'm used to being able to share my "moments" with my close friends, so it's been a bit hard not being able to talk it out, but honestly, i don't really want to, since, like i said before, it's too personal. and as for revealing too many details and retelling too many stories in general, dear friends, i've lost count of the number of times i've been asked by you (one of you particularly) how it feels to be kissed. and you keep pressing for answers even when i'm not sure how to provide them!
the other thing on my mind is how the same two friends refer to my relationship with a certain someone as being "just" friends, with the "just" emphasized. now, i understood why you did this before, when our lines were quite blurred and even we did not know for sure what we were. when this was the case, i told you guys myself that things were confused and unclear. now, however, he and i both are very clear on where we stand. we've talked about so many times, you'd be amazed. and while you may not realize it, i feel our boundaries quite well, thank you. you two aren't very huggy people, so perhaps it is unclear to you that two people can be huggy with one another and not be in a romantic relationship. this fact, however, is crystal clear to me, and i'm pretty sure it's clear to him, as well. you are not there (thankfully) when we are together, and you do not know what we do or don't do. so i don't know how you can presume to judge us. based on what, may i ask? appearances? well, those can be deceiving. you should know better than that.
it's been insane for me, wanting something so bad and not being able to go for it out of love and respect for him. it makes me really angry knowing that the people who ought to know me the best doubt my actions in something that's so huge to me. so i'm sorry if sound attacking. i'm just angry and needed to get this off my chest. perhaps some of your comments were made in jest. if that's the case, i'm sorry, but some things hit too close to joke about, and jokes such as these are usually grounded in personal opinion. so, please keep this in mind, you guys. thanks and goodnight.
what i'm annoyed about may seem pretty silly, but it's really pissing me off, so i thought i'd write. there are two things bugging me right now. the first is that two of my friends, no names mentioned, seem to think that i'm always blabbering about my so called love life, at least whenever it exists. this bothers me a lot. while it's true that i share stories and get excited, it's absolutely not true that i blab, as they put it. the only person besides me who knows all the details of that "one" weekend is the person who was involved in it. i'm rather insulted that they think i'd blab about these things. and this after i've even mentioned to one of them how difficult it's been not to talk to anyone about it, since it's too personal to share. i'm used to being able to share my "moments" with my close friends, so it's been a bit hard not being able to talk it out, but honestly, i don't really want to, since, like i said before, it's too personal. and as for revealing too many details and retelling too many stories in general, dear friends, i've lost count of the number of times i've been asked by you (one of you particularly) how it feels to be kissed. and you keep pressing for answers even when i'm not sure how to provide them!
the other thing on my mind is how the same two friends refer to my relationship with a certain someone as being "just" friends, with the "just" emphasized. now, i understood why you did this before, when our lines were quite blurred and even we did not know for sure what we were. when this was the case, i told you guys myself that things were confused and unclear. now, however, he and i both are very clear on where we stand. we've talked about so many times, you'd be amazed. and while you may not realize it, i feel our boundaries quite well, thank you. you two aren't very huggy people, so perhaps it is unclear to you that two people can be huggy with one another and not be in a romantic relationship. this fact, however, is crystal clear to me, and i'm pretty sure it's clear to him, as well. you are not there (thankfully) when we are together, and you do not know what we do or don't do. so i don't know how you can presume to judge us. based on what, may i ask? appearances? well, those can be deceiving. you should know better than that.
it's been insane for me, wanting something so bad and not being able to go for it out of love and respect for him. it makes me really angry knowing that the people who ought to know me the best doubt my actions in something that's so huge to me. so i'm sorry if sound attacking. i'm just angry and needed to get this off my chest. perhaps some of your comments were made in jest. if that's the case, i'm sorry, but some things hit too close to joke about, and jokes such as these are usually grounded in personal opinion. so, please keep this in mind, you guys. thanks and goodnight.
