oh, bugger

i hate it when people think sam is my boyfriend...today was the 3rd person in a little over a week. i had the following convo with val in the cafeteria

me: how are you?
v: i'm good, how are things going with you?
me: they're ok...i'm glad the year will be over soon and i'll get to go home.
v: yeah, me too...so how are things with sam? are you guys still together?
me: opens eyes wide and blinks in confusion
v: puts hand to mouth...oh, i'm sorry...did you guys break up?
me: uh...we were never together, actually.
v: oh...uh...i just thought...um...i'm sorry.
there's an awkward silence as we blink at each other and then decide that we should go to class.

aargh! bother it all.

Current Mood: annoyed

looking forward to the showcase

so i went to practice on stage at noon, and strangely enough, i think i remember the routines. i need to do them a couple more times to get them down for sure, but it's coming together. i'm actually having a lot of fun leading...it's a challenge that i don't get often enough. i mean, the routines are pretty simple, so if i were doing the girl's part, i'd be bored. this way, i have to actually think about it and practice it and such. so yes, i'm quite happy with myself. this week is starting off well. i just hope tonight goes well.

i had a very nice weekend...especially sunday. it was a gorgeous day, so i walked to utc to get stuff for the showcase today. i was feeling very self-sufficient, which isn't a feeling i get all the time. i mean, i suck at being alone...i get so lonely and sad. but sunday, i was totally cool on my own. it gave me time to think...that isn't something i get to do very often, since i'm hardly ever alone anymore. it was kinda nice to be able to be by myself without getting into a mood. at the same time, it was nice to come back home and find cin there. i can handle being alone for a while, but not for too long...after a while, it starts getting to me. i hope i'll be ok this weekend...cin will be gone the whole time. but it's ok...i just got a ticket for the undergrad research conference on saturday. one of the sections is psychiatry and another is psychology...and josh wortman is presenting a paper in the psych one, which is extra incentive for going there. so yes, i think i'll manage. maybe i'll even enjoy being by myself. but don't count on it...so if anyone wants to hang out sunday, please tell me...i'll want company.

i will leave you all with another quote from the book i've been reading. the context for this one is explaining why there are certain set prayers in judaism. basically, the author is saying that we find it hard to express certain things without a set formula with which to say them.
"To say 'I love you' is a kind of liturgical formula: it allows a deep feeling to be expressed in a routine manner that is understood by those to whom we speak as well as allowing a release of our own feelings about the subject."
David J. Wolpe, The Healer of Shattered Hearts

what do you guys think? the last quote i put up inspired lots of comments, which was quite nice...i like comments.

Current Mood: peaceful

sad, sad

it's rather sad when you're used to talking to someone every day, and suddenly, because of your schedule, you don't talk for like a week. it's rather depressing, really. i don't even know if we'll get to talk today, either. that makes me sad.