i should be doing something productive, like my math homework or something like that. instead, i'm sitting here thinking about life and stuff. i've been doing that a lot this week...prompted by good conversations, interesting situations, and people in general. i guess i'll write some of it down...yeah.
prompted by conversation with kevin re: things that can't be explained without God. i don't know much about mathematics, so the idea of describing the world so perfectly, while pretty cool, doesn't move me to think about God. i think if i knew more math, it might lead me there, but i don't. for me, however, the fact that human beings are here, developed and different from the other animals as we are, leads me to believe there must be a God guiding all this. Now don't get me wrong, i think there's evidence for evolution, and i personally believe that evolution took place. however, i don't think it was a random process through which, by some random mutations and chance, human beings came to exist. i think that evolution was a process driven by God with a goal (humans) in mind. it just seems that evolution without a guide leaves too much to chance, and we are living in a low probability universe (thanks to isaac asimov and the end of eternity for that phrase). yes. there are other things that make me think about the existense of God, but most of them are not well formulated, and i have no wish to defend claims i'm not totally clear on.
prompted by conversation with sam re: learning from experiences. i think that sometimes, experience can also be deceiving. things can turn out the same way numerous times, and then change all of a sudden. just because something is a certain way in the pst doesn't mean it will always stay that way. having said that, i know that it's more likely for things to behave the way they always do. however, my own experiences have shown that it doesn't always work like that. thus, i factor in the possibility of change into my decisions.
prompted by nothing in particular. disclaimer: the following paragraph has nothing ot do with any situation i'm in or have ever been in. it's just some musings that came to me one day this week. so i was thinking about how hard it is for women (and men, but that's more rare) who are in abusive relationships to get out of them. i mean, everyone on the outside can see the abuse and the fact that the relationship is only harming the person, but they refuse to see it and try to justify their partner's behaivour, often by blaming themselves. thinking about this, i came to the unfortunate discovery that even though i like to think of myself as sensible and independent, if i were ever in a relationship like that, i would probably act in much the same manner as the women that we tend to think of as weak-willed and spineless. i think it's very easy to find little things to be happy about, even in the midst of bigger problems. while this can be a good thing, something that keeps people together while they solve their issues, it can also lead to a skewed view of reality. it is also very easy to look at someone you love and decide that it must be your fault for provoking them rather than their fault for not being able to control themselves. this disturbs me greatly, yet i don't know what i could really do about it. i guess being aware of this would make me less likely to find myself in a situation of abuse. also, the fact that i have a hard time keeping things from my friends, sam and cindy in particular, would make it more likely that someone would notice early enough and warn me. still, the thought is a little scary.
ok, that was a little heavy for saturday. i think i'll get dressed and get something to eat now. good bye!
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