blah

this week has been odd...on the one hand, i've had some really good evenings, but on the other hand, there have been fairly hellish days.  for example, las night was wonderful.  i went dancing in palo alto with cindy and emily, and it was the most fun dance thing i've been to in months, maybe even since san diego.  the music was a little old-fashioned, but not too bad.  the crowd was definitely older, and we lowered the average age significantly.  but it was so much fun!  i danced almost everything, and would've danced more had i not had an asthma attack in the middle that forced me to sit out 4 or 5 dances.  i was appreciated, danced with, grinned at.  that's the nice thing about an older crowd: they're not as exclusive as younger dancers.  they'll dance with new people, even if they don't know them.  and they're impressed with small things, like being able to follow a spinny hustle pattern.  i realized that despite not dancing in a while, i still remember how to follow most things, which was nice.  the confidence boost was amazing, and just what i needed, considering i'd been having a lot of self-doubt this week.  hanging out with cin and emily was also wonderful, and reminded me that despite what it feels like sometimes, i am not in fact the only person in my circle of friends who believes in G-d.  so that was really, really great.  and then i went over to david's and we had a really nice evening (night, i guess, since it was 1:30 by the time i got to his place) and hung out and cuddled and it was lovely.

and then today, it went back to annoying.  i had grand plans to actually be helpful to a friend, and then grandma had a non-emergency emergency (meaning that it wasn't at all an emergency, except that she made it out to be one) and i had to go deal with it and we had a shouting match during which i was accused of basically being a horrible granddaughter and now i'm back at my place by myself, feeling totally anti-social and blah.  and i could force myself to go 4 blocks away to where friends are and socialize with them, but i don't think i can handle people right now, so i'm just going to type this up and sit around.  or go out with the boy.  or something. 

but yeah, this has been the pattern of my week.  nice and annoying and nice and annoying.  and i'm still angry at a friend, which i hate being, so i need to get over it.  and i'm still angry at grandma, which sucks, so i need to get over that.  blah.  but perhaps i will go get ice cream and feel better.