i see your point in terms of being ready for a conversation and not just blurting things out. it's a little like the sometimes mistaken assumption that when you're very close to someone, you can say whatever you want to them. the problem is, when you're very close to someone, that's when you can hurt them the most, so that's when you have to be the most careful in what you say, and, more importantly, how you say it. i guess the thing that worries me is the balance between this sort of advance warning thing but also not making the conversation seem bigger than it is.

the nice thing is, we've already talked about some of the things i meant for us to talk about, just because they came up in other conversations we were having...so i have not as many things to worry about. so that's happy.