what if...

[dancingyel]

what if i don't become a doctor? what if i decide that i'd rather go into somatics, or massage, or energy work? what if i decide to go study somewhere else, such as the hebrew university in LA? what if i change my mind completely and do something different? i wonder if i could be happy doing something other than psychiatry, seeing how my dream was always to be a doctor. at the same time, i wonder if i'll be happy as a doctor. i'd love to be a psychiatrist and incorporate massage and energy work into my practice, but my mom says, "can psychiatrists do that?" i think they can, if they have their own private practice, but i'm not sure how accepted it would be. a mix of psychological and hands-on counseling is more in the realm of somatics...but i don't know if i'd ever do that. bother. sometimes, it sucks to have a solid plan for the future. if i didn't know what i wanted to do, i could do anything. but, since i've always wanted to be a doctor, if i don't become one, my whole family will be disappointed, and i might be, too. nothing is ever certain...with every new thing i learn or read or do, my world changes a bit and new possibilities present themselves. if only i could do it all...