trying to delay the inevitable...
Nov. 20th, 2002 04:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancingyelo-chem midterm in a couple of hours, and i'm incredibly tired of studying. i'm afraid i'm gonna fail this one...like actually fail it. i understand the stuff in theory, but when it comes to actually doing it, everything dies. well, we'll see how it goes. if i don't get a b, i'll probably end up dropping the class...can't afford to have a c on my record. but hopefully, i won't fail and will at least get a c...that way, i can still get a b in the end.
i just remembered that my hum paper is due in a week. fun. i shall be writing on montaigne's and rabelais' views on education. woohoo.
so i was thinking a lot...as usual...i'm a very different person than i was last year. it's odd to see myself change so much...i remember my opinions last year on random things such as beauty and feelings vs. reasons and i see the changes. beauty is an especially big one right now...i'm realizing that i almost don't want to be told i'm pretty. i mean, it's nice and i know it's meant to compliment...but at the same time, "pretty" is so far down on the list of things i wish were used to describe me that being told this makes me feel a lesser person, in a way. it's like, all these other things about me aren't worth as much notice. and yes, i'm well aware that this is not what's meant...and there are a lot of people who can compliment me on looks, clothing, etc. and i'm perfectly comfortable with it. i guess i just need the assurance that i'm appreciated for other things...but at the same time, i still like to dress up and put on make-up and stuff to feel pretty. i don't think it's a contradiction, though...i like looking nice, but i need to be sure that it's not just looks that matter. i know, i don't make all that much sense. that's ok...perhaps someone will understand.
i love having long, thoughtfull conversations with people. i was realizing this week that when i don't have long discussions every once in a while, i get a little stir-crazy. it's like, i need to get out the ideas that build up in my head every so often...and writing doesn't quite do it because i don't get instant feedback. yes, it's all about that instant gratification...i'm such a child sometimes. but seriously, the ability to carry a conversation is such a must in friends...it's nice to be able to bounce ideas around and get feedback...even when people don't think the same way, it's good to have the chance for discussion. i get very annoyed with people who shy away from serious talks...i mean, there's a time to be care-free and happy, but sometimes it's nice to settle down and be thoughtful. yes.
ok, i should go back to reviewing some more. wish me luck! and leave me comments!
i just remembered that my hum paper is due in a week. fun. i shall be writing on montaigne's and rabelais' views on education. woohoo.
so i was thinking a lot...as usual...i'm a very different person than i was last year. it's odd to see myself change so much...i remember my opinions last year on random things such as beauty and feelings vs. reasons and i see the changes. beauty is an especially big one right now...i'm realizing that i almost don't want to be told i'm pretty. i mean, it's nice and i know it's meant to compliment...but at the same time, "pretty" is so far down on the list of things i wish were used to describe me that being told this makes me feel a lesser person, in a way. it's like, all these other things about me aren't worth as much notice. and yes, i'm well aware that this is not what's meant...and there are a lot of people who can compliment me on looks, clothing, etc. and i'm perfectly comfortable with it. i guess i just need the assurance that i'm appreciated for other things...but at the same time, i still like to dress up and put on make-up and stuff to feel pretty. i don't think it's a contradiction, though...i like looking nice, but i need to be sure that it's not just looks that matter. i know, i don't make all that much sense. that's ok...perhaps someone will understand.
i love having long, thoughtfull conversations with people. i was realizing this week that when i don't have long discussions every once in a while, i get a little stir-crazy. it's like, i need to get out the ideas that build up in my head every so often...and writing doesn't quite do it because i don't get instant feedback. yes, it's all about that instant gratification...i'm such a child sometimes. but seriously, the ability to carry a conversation is such a must in friends...it's nice to be able to bounce ideas around and get feedback...even when people don't think the same way, it's good to have the chance for discussion. i get very annoyed with people who shy away from serious talks...i mean, there's a time to be care-free and happy, but sometimes it's nice to settle down and be thoughtful. yes.
ok, i should go back to reviewing some more. wish me luck! and leave me comments!
