random passage
Sep. 17th, 2003 11:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancingyelso i read this book that sam thought i should read, called the four loves by c.s. lewis and i really like a passage from it about affection.
"We can say anything to one another." The truth behind this is that Affection at its best can say whatever Affection at its best wishes to say, regardless of the rules that govern public courtesy; for Affection at its best wishes neither to wound not to humiliate nor to domineer. You may address the wife of your bosom as "Pig!" when she has inadvertently drunk your cocktail as well as her own. You may roar down the story which your father is telling once too often. You may tease and hoax and banter. You can say "Shut up. I want to read." You can do anything in the right tone and at the right moment -- the tone and moment whcih are not intended to, and will not, hurt. The better the Affection the more unerringly it knows which these are (every love has its art of love). But the domestic Rudesby means something quite different when he claims liberty to say "anything." Having a very imperfect sort of Affection hmself, or perhaps at that moment none, he arrogates to himself the beautiful liberties which only the fullest Affection has a right to or knows how to manage. He the uses them spitefully in obedience to his resentments; or ruthlessly in obedience to his egoism; or at best stupidly, lacking the art. And all the time he amy have a clear conscience. He knows that Affection takes liberties. He takes liberties. Therefore (he concludes) he is being affectionate. Resent anything and he will say that the defect of love is onyour side. He is hurt. He has been misunderstood.
"We can say anything to one another." The truth behind this is that Affection at its best can say whatever Affection at its best wishes to say, regardless of the rules that govern public courtesy; for Affection at its best wishes neither to wound not to humiliate nor to domineer. You may address the wife of your bosom as "Pig!" when she has inadvertently drunk your cocktail as well as her own. You may roar down the story which your father is telling once too often. You may tease and hoax and banter. You can say "Shut up. I want to read." You can do anything in the right tone and at the right moment -- the tone and moment whcih are not intended to, and will not, hurt. The better the Affection the more unerringly it knows which these are (every love has its art of love). But the domestic Rudesby means something quite different when he claims liberty to say "anything." Having a very imperfect sort of Affection hmself, or perhaps at that moment none, he arrogates to himself the beautiful liberties which only the fullest Affection has a right to or knows how to manage. He the uses them spitefully in obedience to his resentments; or ruthlessly in obedience to his egoism; or at best stupidly, lacking the art. And all the time he amy have a clear conscience. He knows that Affection takes liberties. He takes liberties. Therefore (he concludes) he is being affectionate. Resent anything and he will say that the defect of love is onyour side. He is hurt. He has been misunderstood.
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Date: 2003-09-17 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-18 09:35 am (UTC)