dancingyel | musings, yet again

after being randomly and crazily happy, i have evened out a bit. i'm attributing it to lots of different things, actually. yesterday's trilogy debacle had a lot to do with it, strangely enough, since it was the first time since school started that ive gotten so angry. but also, it's the lack of sleep, not just today, but in general, since i've been getting less sleep than i would prefer having, and also the fact that i've been dancing every day. i know that's a bit contradictory, since i love dancing so much, but it does really bad things to my self esteem sometimes. kevin said yesterday that i'm looking at it all wrong...instead of thinking that i've been doing ballroom for a while and i should be better at it than i am, i should realize that i've been doing mostly social ballroom, which doesn't have much to do with technique, and that most of the other girls on the team haven't had much ballroom experience, but have been taking jazz and ballet and such, and know how to perform and move their bodies and are better prepared for competitive ballroom. i guess that's true, but it really doesn't make me feel that much better, when i compare myself to the other girls. i suppose i shouldn't compare or whatnot, but that's hard...i look around and see people that are way better than me. of course, i keep dancing, so it's not something that bothers me all the time, but it's something that's on my mind. so yeah...it's not making me upset or anything yet, but it's evened my mood out somewhat.

in other news, i'm looking forward to hillel services tonight because i have a sort-of date afterwards, as in it wasn't officially a date and we're not sure what we're gonna do exactly, but the whole arranging process was rather date-like...we'll see how that goes. i'm semi-interested as of right now...he's a nice guy, but i don't know enough about him to decide just how interested i am. i also don't know if i really have time to date someone...the guy would have to fit into my rather fukk ckass/lab/work/dance schedule. but yeah. like i said, i'll have to see how it goes tonight before i form any opinions. i don't even know how interested he is...he seemed interested, but you never know, really. so yeah.

one of these days, i will modify my journal so that my user pic shows up with every post. i know it's possible, but i haven't figured out how to do it yet.

in case you can't tell, i'm bored, and am thus taking this time to ramble about things that are completely random and/or irrelevant. nothing better to do, except do my reading for class, but i'm not awake enough to process anything. maybe i'll create a poll or something...dunno. ok, i'm off to deal with more pigeons. i'm sure i'll post again soon.