random thoughts instead of sleeping
Apr. 26th, 2004 03:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancingyelso i was thinking about my mom this weekend, since yesterday was her birthday, and i realized that with the exception of a few years when my sister was just born, my mom has lived in the same city as her parents. it's not an uncommon thing, really...in russia, many people went to college in the city they grew up in, then married someone local and stayed in the city. sometimes, they lived with the parents of one of the partners if they couldn't afford to have their own place, which was pretty common. my dad is a bit of an exception, in that he moved away for college, since he's super smart and his village didn't have any place that would give him the education he wanted. he never lived at home after that...moved to odessa with my mom and never went back. my mom, though, went to school in odessa, then moved to kishinev, a four hour drive, for about three years. she and my dad wanted to live in odessa, but not with her parents, and they couldn't afford to get their own place. as soon as they could, though, they moved back to the city and stayed there until we moved to the states. and here, of course, my granparents live in san francisco, about a 20 minute drive from my parents' house. it's cool but very odd to me.
a natural consequence of living near your family all your life is that you also live near your friends. my grandma, for example, has a friend who she's known since they were both 6. we call her aunt Lena (i have the same name as her) and we love her dearly...she's a pediatrician and has seen my mom, my sister, and myself through all sorts of illnesses and accidents and all that. my mom, too, has friends she's known since preschool. most of them are still in russia, but that's a consequence of having to escape a horrid situation. if the political climate hadn't been what it was, i'm betting my mom would still be living near those old friends of hers. i mean, she was like 40 when we moved to the states, and they had all been in the same place since early childhood. it's amazing, really.
so the point of all that was to say, i wish i had something like that. i know that i couldn't have had preschool friends, having moved early, or even early elementary school friends. but middle school friends? i hardly keep in touch with any of them, and the idea of living in the same place as any of them all my life is almost absurd. it's a little different with high school friends...i live with cin and keep in touch with nik and sam and various others on and off...but even so, i don't expect to always be around them. and then college friends...we're all gonna go our separate ways eventually, and i'd love to always have some of these people in my life, but it's gonna be hard since we'll probably all live far apart. i don't have to worry about it for at least a year, but it's still sad.
i guess what prompted this whole entry, besides thinking about my mom, is my general worry over drifting from people, exacerbated recently by the uncertainty of my living situation next year and by the fact that kevin, who's become one of my best friends, is graduating this year. in terms of the living situation, i know that cin and i are gonna be close no matter what, but it's just a weird thought, thinking that i may not be living with her next year. i mean, i'm certainly close to other people i'm not living with (kevin or emily or nikki, for example) but i'm so used to living with cin, the idea of it not being the same next year is concerning. i'm much calmer about it all than before, but it's still odd. and then, with kevin graduating, that's sad, too...i mean, i know he and tali are gonna visit sd next year (you better, guys!) but it'll be odd not seeing him around campus or at practice and stuff. yeah.
i'm people-dependant. sad. i thought it wasn't as bad this year, but i think it's just less focused. it's not any one person i'm dependant on, it's a whole set of them...like all the dancers (at least the cool ones). yeah. but next year should be awesome, too.
ok, off to bed now. good night.
a natural consequence of living near your family all your life is that you also live near your friends. my grandma, for example, has a friend who she's known since they were both 6. we call her aunt Lena (i have the same name as her) and we love her dearly...she's a pediatrician and has seen my mom, my sister, and myself through all sorts of illnesses and accidents and all that. my mom, too, has friends she's known since preschool. most of them are still in russia, but that's a consequence of having to escape a horrid situation. if the political climate hadn't been what it was, i'm betting my mom would still be living near those old friends of hers. i mean, she was like 40 when we moved to the states, and they had all been in the same place since early childhood. it's amazing, really.
so the point of all that was to say, i wish i had something like that. i know that i couldn't have had preschool friends, having moved early, or even early elementary school friends. but middle school friends? i hardly keep in touch with any of them, and the idea of living in the same place as any of them all my life is almost absurd. it's a little different with high school friends...i live with cin and keep in touch with nik and sam and various others on and off...but even so, i don't expect to always be around them. and then college friends...we're all gonna go our separate ways eventually, and i'd love to always have some of these people in my life, but it's gonna be hard since we'll probably all live far apart. i don't have to worry about it for at least a year, but it's still sad.
i guess what prompted this whole entry, besides thinking about my mom, is my general worry over drifting from people, exacerbated recently by the uncertainty of my living situation next year and by the fact that kevin, who's become one of my best friends, is graduating this year. in terms of the living situation, i know that cin and i are gonna be close no matter what, but it's just a weird thought, thinking that i may not be living with her next year. i mean, i'm certainly close to other people i'm not living with (kevin or emily or nikki, for example) but i'm so used to living with cin, the idea of it not being the same next year is concerning. i'm much calmer about it all than before, but it's still odd. and then, with kevin graduating, that's sad, too...i mean, i know he and tali are gonna visit sd next year (you better, guys!) but it'll be odd not seeing him around campus or at practice and stuff. yeah.
i'm people-dependant. sad. i thought it wasn't as bad this year, but i think it's just less focused. it's not any one person i'm dependant on, it's a whole set of them...like all the dancers (at least the cool ones). yeah. but next year should be awesome, too.
ok, off to bed now. good night.
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but you keep being friends with them
Date: 2004-04-26 08:46 pm (UTC)One family they knew slightly from the time they spent in India used to live in New York, but when the dad got relocated out to the Bay Area he stayed with us on the initial trip out here and then rented a house in Palo Alto. They now live within a mile of us and have become our closest family friends.
All this is to say basically two things. You can still be friends with people even when you live long distances apart and even when you only hear from each other once a year. With so much moving around common in the US, people can just as easily move closer to you as farther from you.
And finally, friendships change. I've started to see some of my high school friendships mature into what I hope will be a long-term friendship, with respect for each other's career plans and dreams. Would I have guessed, five years ago, that I would become good friends with Kevin?
I just cherish the friends I have and arrange to hang out with them as often as possible. :)
(Speaking of which, I have several dee-lightful new jokes to share! When are you free?)