more team stuff rambling...sorry

[dancingyel]

by the end of the night last night, i had pretty much decided that i'd stay on the team...i had talked to my mom and various friends, and figured that i'd regret it more if i quit than if i stayed. but this morning, i got a response from peter and he was just rude and abrupt and i got the distinct impression that it's fairly irrelevant to him what i do, and now i'm not sure again. yes, i know, we have way more women on the team than we need, and really, all of us are fairly dispensible. but i thought, at least as command staff and someone who's been on the team for 3 years and does random stuff like help him out with demo, he'd at least be nice to me about my concerns. i wasn't expecting anything to change...i placed where i placed, it's the dancing, and that's all there is to it. what i was hoping for was some reassurance that he'd make an effort to have the alternates dance more and such, and i didn't get any of that. blah. as my mom said, i'm on the team because of the other dancers, not because of him, but still. now what? i gotta decide very soon what i want to do. like by tonight. and i don't want to quit, really i don't, but this just sucks.

Comments

[bluepony0628.livejournal.com]

Elaine .... I know the feeling you're going through ..... Don't worry about him ... concentrate on what YOU want .... becoming a better dancer !!! You're awesome and if dancing is your sincere passion, don't let it go. Who cares what anyone else says or does? Remember, this is YOUR senior year in college and I'm sure you want all the memories you can get ~~ and that MUST include dancing. =) I've sat on the side lines before when I rode horses and it hurts .... because you know looking at the others .. you could be out there ... my advice: stick with it !! Don't let Peter wreck it for ya. YOU GO GIRL !! Guys don't know what they're doing anyways =P (jk jk). I'm behind you all the way !!!

[dancingyel.livejournal.com]

oh, lindsay! that's such a lovely comment. thank you for the support, hon! you're right, if i'm on the sidelines watching people dance, it's gonna be awful. i've quit dance before, after middle school, and i cried about it for months afterwards. thanks for reminding me of that.

i just wish i were a better dancer, but i guess not. so much effort for so little progress. blah. but oh well...i guess as long as i enjoy it's ok. now i just gotta focus on the positive.

team

[(Anonymous)]

Elaine,

Hi!! It's Abby Wong. I read the past few entries in your journal. It makes me miss the team a lot.

I thought I'd write in about your newest post. I'm sorry to hear that your placement on the team was not what you'd hoped for. The team is- and has always been- very lucky to have you. Is it possible to be on show and also be comp team alternate? That way, when girls on comp get sick or can't do a show, you can step in and do the dance- and you'll probably get to perform a few times anyway with comp if you're an alternate, I think.

As someone who was not on the team for one of her years at UCSD- I can tell you it's really sad. I missed the team so much my third year, it totally sucked. And so, I came back 4th year, despite having made tons of enemies and lost some friends when I decided to drop off Command Staff my second year. I missed the people. Peter can go screw himself. He's a good dancer, and a good teacher, but not always the most reassuring person. Not once did I feel better after talking to him about my concerns regarding the team or Command Staff. He was the main reason that I dropped off CS, and he was the main reason that I didn't come back my 3rd year after my quarter away. I never should have let him dissuade me from joining the team.

So, I guess, if Peter is the main reason you would drop off, don't let him do that to you. I'm sure you would remain great friends with the people on the team, regardless of if you stayed or not, but stay if you love dancing!!

*hugs* and I hope things, otherwise, are well. I will keep reading for updates. :)

Abby

Re: team

[dancingyel.livejournal.com]

abby!

wow, totally didn't expect to hear from you. hopefully, you'll check back on this entry and see my return comment. thanks so much for the words of encouragement! i'm sorry you didn't have the best team experience in your in-between years, and i'm really glad you actually joined again your fourth year, 'cause if you hadn't, i wouldn't have gotten to meet you! i'm definitely feeling better about the team after tonight's practice...i'm actually gonna post about in my lj in a minute, but yeah, i'm now staying. everybody had such nice, comforting things to say to me...i cried way too many times, mostly because of how nice people were being.

i wish i could do the whole show/comp alt thing, but the thing is, there are 80-some women who tried out for the team, so there are no crossovers at all. there are actually 27 extra women on couples, which is completely insane. so yeah, it's not quite the way it was a couple of years ago. it's still cool, though.

i hope things are going well with you! you should come visit us sometime! *hugs*

take care,
elaine