monday story time!
Jan. 24th, 2005 04:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancingyelso cin and i were in class for 3 hours today and it was very boring...we had a conversation in notes, some of which i may post later 'cause it was interesting and we had some good and funny musings, but then conversation ran out...so cin decided to write me a story! and then another one! i helped a bit, filling in some lines, but mostly the stories were written by her and they turned out to be so funny and so much crack!fics that i have to share them, with her permission, of course. so what follows behind the lj-cut is the second story, since it can be posted without editing or worrying about friend filters. the other one may or may not be posted later.
warning: highly ridiculous, slightly scandalous, very absurd, and possibly r-rated. oh, and most of the story is by cin, the random sentences i provided to help further the plot are in bold. any spelling errors are probably mine and not cin's. i left most of her punctuation and caps in, though. also, can you tell what the psych class was about?
A long time ago (yesterday eve), there was a gorgeous princess named Angela. But she's irrelevant, because this story is about Elaine. She had been coming back from dance practice when she noticed an open manhole cover on the sidewalk.
"Someone could fall in and die!" She thought to herself. Before she could say anything, someone fell from the sky and right through the open manhole. She was so surprised she fell in after him.
"Oh, great. That's just wonderful." said an annoyed voice. Elaine had landed right on top of the dude. He was actually Legolas, and she had mussed his perfect eyebrows. He sat in a corner and pouted. Elaine was shocked at his childishness.
"Legolas isn't supposed to pout! He should be all calm and composed!" exclaimed Elaine. When Legolas realized he wasn't living up to Elaine's standards, he became ashamed and guilty. Unfortunately, he also suffered from global attribution and decided he was worthless. Elaine was puzzled until he explained that when he was a young elf learning archery, Elladan and Elrohir had mocked his shooting. While this motivated him to become the best archer in Middle EArth, it also paralyzed him when he failed to meet someone's standards outside the realm of archery.
"Oh, dear. That's rather sad. Poor Legolas!" came a pair of mocking voices from the dark, dripping tunnel. Elladan and Elrohir appeared out of the mist. "Poor baby cousin! Telling his sob story to the unsuspecting human girl! Awww...is she being sympathetic? or does she despise your wussiness?"" Their cackling laughter echoed off the pipes around them..."wussiness...wussiness...wussiness." As one, they turned to Elaine and held out their elegant hands. "Come with us, human. We will show you a good time!" Elladan teasingly twitched his cloak, and a single ray of light glinted off the top of an orange soda can.
"Oh, good lord! Not the orange soda again! Why is it now assumed that I have an orange soda kink?" said Elaine with a sigh. "Well, if you must know, that Glorfindel told us you do the most amazing things with fizzy drinks..." Elrohir smiled knowingly. "These elf-maids, you know, they're all so dull and calm and stately and want fine words and great deeds...it's all that Aragorn's fault. I mean, who can compare to being the long-lost King of all men?! But you, my dear, you're a lusty human wench. Surely you crave to have The Experience with dignity and with out those power games men love...for that is what men desire above all else..." Elladan raised his eyebrow provocatively.
"Um...presumptuous much?" came another voice from the dark reaches of the tunnel. "Elaine is MY human wench," said Glorfindel as he stepped into the single ray of light coming from the open manhole mouth. He was gloriously backlit and glowingly golden. Elaine gaped. "YOUR human?! I'm my own human, thank you very much! And you can stop spreading stories about me and orange soda!"
"What's up with all the special effects, anyways?" whined Legolas from his corner. "Why do you guys get the lighting when it's MY eyebrows that need help?!" The three older elves frowned and simultaneously exclaimed, "Why, seniority, of course!!!" Elaine thought that now would be a good time to sneak out. She began backing away slowly.
"It's gonna be rather difficult to climb out of the manhole without help, though," she thought. So she started backing away down a tunnel. It was all fine and good (the elves were still arguing, now about who was the prettiest and who had laid the most elf maidens) until she felt something enormous and hard poking her in the back...
"What new devilry is this?" she muttered under her breath. She instinctively turned and slapped the person behind her. "I'm so sorry, my lady!" came the husky, rumbly deep voice from whomever she'd just slapped. "I did not mean to jab you with my sword. It's rather longer than I realizes." Aragorn stepped into the light (which glinted off the grease on his hair) and bowed apologetically, then sheathed his sword.
"Um...ok, then. Why is everyone wandering about the sewers now?" said Elaine. "Don't you know? Wandering about sewers is the new black!" exclaimed Aragorn. "Now, my lady, allow me to go deal with those insultingly stuck-up, assuming elves in yon corridor. With that, he rushed off and avenged her honor.
"No killing allowed! I though we established that last time!" she yelled after him. "Of course! I would not disobey your wishes. But may I at least scare them? I'll take that as a yes."
When he returned, he smiled tentatively, and said, "I heard this was your real fetish. But correct me if I'm wrong." He slowly pulled a scarf out of his pack and wrapped it around his neck. "What say you?"
"Aaahhh!" screamed Elaine. "Put away your sword or I won't answer you!" He did.
"Much better." she leaned in and whispered breathily into his ear..."Can I get an autograph?"
so that's what happens when cin and i are bored...mostly when cin is bored and i'm just a captive audience. but yes. that made class much more fun. i will perhaps post the first story later...we'll see.
warning: highly ridiculous, slightly scandalous, very absurd, and possibly r-rated. oh, and most of the story is by cin, the random sentences i provided to help further the plot are in bold. any spelling errors are probably mine and not cin's. i left most of her punctuation and caps in, though. also, can you tell what the psych class was about?
A long time ago (yesterday eve), there was a gorgeous princess named Angela. But she's irrelevant, because this story is about Elaine. She had been coming back from dance practice when she noticed an open manhole cover on the sidewalk.
"Someone could fall in and die!" She thought to herself. Before she could say anything, someone fell from the sky and right through the open manhole. She was so surprised she fell in after him.
"Oh, great. That's just wonderful." said an annoyed voice. Elaine had landed right on top of the dude. He was actually Legolas, and she had mussed his perfect eyebrows. He sat in a corner and pouted. Elaine was shocked at his childishness.
"Legolas isn't supposed to pout! He should be all calm and composed!" exclaimed Elaine. When Legolas realized he wasn't living up to Elaine's standards, he became ashamed and guilty. Unfortunately, he also suffered from global attribution and decided he was worthless. Elaine was puzzled until he explained that when he was a young elf learning archery, Elladan and Elrohir had mocked his shooting. While this motivated him to become the best archer in Middle EArth, it also paralyzed him when he failed to meet someone's standards outside the realm of archery.
"Oh, dear. That's rather sad. Poor Legolas!" came a pair of mocking voices from the dark, dripping tunnel. Elladan and Elrohir appeared out of the mist. "Poor baby cousin! Telling his sob story to the unsuspecting human girl! Awww...is she being sympathetic? or does she despise your wussiness?"" Their cackling laughter echoed off the pipes around them..."wussiness...wussiness...wussiness." As one, they turned to Elaine and held out their elegant hands. "Come with us, human. We will show you a good time!" Elladan teasingly twitched his cloak, and a single ray of light glinted off the top of an orange soda can.
"Oh, good lord! Not the orange soda again! Why is it now assumed that I have an orange soda kink?" said Elaine with a sigh. "Well, if you must know, that Glorfindel told us you do the most amazing things with fizzy drinks..." Elrohir smiled knowingly. "These elf-maids, you know, they're all so dull and calm and stately and want fine words and great deeds...it's all that Aragorn's fault. I mean, who can compare to being the long-lost King of all men?! But you, my dear, you're a lusty human wench. Surely you crave to have The Experience with dignity and with out those power games men love...for that is what men desire above all else..." Elladan raised his eyebrow provocatively.
"Um...presumptuous much?" came another voice from the dark reaches of the tunnel. "Elaine is MY human wench," said Glorfindel as he stepped into the single ray of light coming from the open manhole mouth. He was gloriously backlit and glowingly golden. Elaine gaped. "YOUR human?! I'm my own human, thank you very much! And you can stop spreading stories about me and orange soda!"
"What's up with all the special effects, anyways?" whined Legolas from his corner. "Why do you guys get the lighting when it's MY eyebrows that need help?!" The three older elves frowned and simultaneously exclaimed, "Why, seniority, of course!!!" Elaine thought that now would be a good time to sneak out. She began backing away slowly.
"It's gonna be rather difficult to climb out of the manhole without help, though," she thought. So she started backing away down a tunnel. It was all fine and good (the elves were still arguing, now about who was the prettiest and who had laid the most elf maidens) until she felt something enormous and hard poking her in the back...
"What new devilry is this?" she muttered under her breath. She instinctively turned and slapped the person behind her. "I'm so sorry, my lady!" came the husky, rumbly deep voice from whomever she'd just slapped. "I did not mean to jab you with my sword. It's rather longer than I realizes." Aragorn stepped into the light (which glinted off the grease on his hair) and bowed apologetically, then sheathed his sword.
"Um...ok, then. Why is everyone wandering about the sewers now?" said Elaine. "Don't you know? Wandering about sewers is the new black!" exclaimed Aragorn. "Now, my lady, allow me to go deal with those insultingly stuck-up, assuming elves in yon corridor. With that, he rushed off and avenged her honor.
"No killing allowed! I though we established that last time!" she yelled after him. "Of course! I would not disobey your wishes. But may I at least scare them? I'll take that as a yes."
When he returned, he smiled tentatively, and said, "I heard this was your real fetish. But correct me if I'm wrong." He slowly pulled a scarf out of his pack and wrapped it around his neck. "What say you?"
"Aaahhh!" screamed Elaine. "Put away your sword or I won't answer you!" He did.
"Much better." she leaned in and whispered breathily into his ear..."Can I get an autograph?"
The End!
so that's what happens when cin and i are bored...mostly when cin is bored and i'm just a captive audience. but yes. that made class much more fun. i will perhaps post the first story later...we'll see.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-01-25 01:30 am (UTC)(I wish I had a story partner ... =P)
no subject
Date: 2005-01-26 09:26 am (UTC)R rated?
Date: 2005-01-25 04:52 am (UTC)Oh
And Tali thought the R-rated was strong too...
but my vote was the one that counted for unanaminity (word? I think so!)
~Feelin' Goofy~
-Kevin
Re: R rated?
Date: 2005-01-25 05:00 am (UTC)=)
Re: R rated?
Date: 2005-01-26 09:25 am (UTC)Re: R rated?
Date: 2005-01-26 09:24 am (UTC)