welcome back to the world of 3 am posts

well, it's 2:45, but close enough. this was not supposed to happen...i wanted to get to sleep by 1 or so...he wanted to get to sleep before midnight...but conversations never go the way they're meant to go, so here i am, just off the phone and it's way past my bedtime. not that i'm really complaining...it was partly my fault, too...and even though it was a long convo, it resolved some things that needed to be taken care of. i am optimistic about the future.

i said, "i have the absurd mentality that even if things have all turned out one way before, they could still be different next time." i hope this is true and i'm just not being pointlessly optimistic. but i'm really hopeful this time. it could all work out as planned.

i know i'm loved, and right now, that's enough. now i need to remember that for future sad times.

must get to sleep. good night everyone.

i need something to do!!!!

i'm at work, waiting 'till 2:30 when the case conference starts. boring, boring...but i needed to get here early 'cause aric needed to get something from my room...so i came at 2, hoping that he'd come get whatever it was he needed and would stay and chat for a while and keep me company. but he had to go set up for a different presentation at 2:30...so he had to go...oh, well. it was funny...he was like, "are you still coming in at all?" and i said that yeah, i'm coming in on and off...he was like, "well, give me a call when you're in sometime and we can hang out." right...like there's anywhere to really hang out here at ucsf...maybe the caf or something. ah, well.

will (maybe) go and finish my moodtheme. or not...we'll see.