roller-coaster ride seems to be over

so i'm staying on the team. for sure. no doubt about it. i'm so glad the whole roller-coaster thing is done now...such a relief. what happened, you may ask? well, cheryl is the nicest person ever, and peter wasn't so bad after i talked to him and now it's all ok. in detail: i talked to peter, explained what i actually meant in my e-mail, and when he realized i was looking for words of encouragement or inspiration, he was really nice about it and said he'd miss me if i wasn't on the team and i could be command staff anyhow even if i only did couples, but he'd be sad if i did that. he was like, "you're such a dancer, elaine, you can't quit!" so i nodded and smiled and went to the bathroom and cried because you know how it's all emotionally draining when someone is unexpectedly nice to you? yeah. that's how it was.

so then, after all that, i came back into the room. cheryl came over and asked me if i was ok because i looked like i'd been crying, so i told her my dilemna. she asked me what my biggest issue with it was, and i said it was the fact that i'd never get to dance showcase or day by the shores or vegas, and i really wanted to dance one of those with comp. she looked at me as if i had gone completely nuts and said something to the effect of "well, that's not really a problem! if that's the only thing that's keeping you from wanting to be on the team, you can have my spot for one of those!" so i looked at her and blinked and asked her like 10 times if she was serious, and she was, and then i promptly started crying again (except i hid it well since i was in the big room with everyone else! heh!) and so now i'm definitely staying with the team, and that's the nicest thing anyone's done for me in a very long time.

yes. apologies for all the whiny entries prior to this. i tend to post when i'm moody, but i'm really pretty happy now!

and now i'm listening to a song in italian called "felicita," which means happiness! yay!

(no subject)

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late night hyper updating

so i just thought i'd share with you all...the last half-year, i seem to be reconnecting with childhood friends. it's kinda neat. in israel, i got to hang out with maxim, who was my best friend when we were kids. then, in boston, i hung out with kathy, whose family lived in the same complex as my grandparents, so we played together during the summer and on weekends and stuff. then, earlier today, i got an email from alex, who i remember as sanya, who's the son of a lady who worked with my mom in russia. we didn't live near each other, since the moms were work friends, but i remeber we played together at birthdays and random visits. it's so cool to hear from people from the past...brings back a whirlwind of memories of myself as a little kid. so nice!

ok, i should go to bed. good night.