playing d&d with the boys

[dancingyel]

last time this year i'm playing this with the guys. man, this is sad. definitely sad. i'm in such a weird place right now...happy to be here and be playing and all, but also so sad to be leaving...and also a little sad 'cause...i don't even know if i can explain it. meh. more later, since we're actually gonna start the game now. i guess what the sadness is is that i'm just me, still, and even though i feel there's so much possibility next year to do what i want with my life, i'm still always me...change is really hard. sorry if that made no sense at all. more later, definitely.

Comments

i know what you mean

[musiclsole.livejournal.com]

i think we've talked about this before... the whole wanting to redefine yourself and then always staying the same. i've been thinking this through with another friend and i've settled on the following... i don't think that people ever really change, however people do learn to accept themselves and express different sides of themselves; people grow. i think whats hard about this growth thing is that it takes more conscious effort than i would often like... i actually have to plan out a corse of action. in any case, i'd love to hear more about this 'i'm still me' thing. we'll talk soon.

Re: i know what you mean

[dancingyel.livejournal.com]

i actually thought of you when i was writing this entry, 'cause yeah, we definitely had similar conversations a couple of times. i think part of the problem for me is that i can't tell how much i truly want to change and how much of it is just a desire to fit in more. i mean, there are so many areas i can improve in, but there are also things about me that i think are good, but i still sometimes wish they didn't exist 'cause then i'd be more like other people. but yeah. i'm back in sf now, and it's a little hectic. i'll call you when i settle down tonight or tomorrow.

are you afraid of change? are you afraid of crossing the big water?

[waccoonie71.livejournal.com]

for some reason, upon second reading, the title made me think of that song from prince of egypy, "playing with the big boys now!"