long time, no post
Oct. 21st, 2008 11:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dancingyellet's have another bad-good-random list, shall we? it's a good way to summarize my life.
the bad:
- grandma's health. she has a cancerous mass thing near her ovaries, and some spots on her lungs. she'll have surgery to remove the big mass, but since she doesn't want chemo or radiation (and i don't blame her), there's not much to be done about the spots on her lungs. so, surgery in a few weeks, and then...we sit around and let the rest of the cancer kill her? i don't know. this isn't gonna have a good ending. she's 85, this isn't surprising, but i've been lucky enough to have all 4 grandparents alive, and this whole process is traumatic.
- school continues to be overwhelming in parts. i feel like i'm not getting enough done, both for classes and my own research. i still don't have a master's proposal. i'm doing the readings for class, but only the minimum. i'm fairly behind in stats, which is ok (there's not firm deadlines) for now, but means that i'm gonna have to catch up. it's all doable, but overwhelming.
- random meltdowns continue. they've become a lot less severe and less frequent, but i'm still having too many! i'm not a fan of bursting into tears on a regular basis. i did this last year, and it sucked, and then i thought it was over. but no, apparently not. fall appears to be ungood.
- only mildly bad: racecar-building boy is moving to the east coast in a month! boo! this isn't really that bad, given that we've only hung out a few times, and it's not like i'm attached, but it's a little sad! he's a nice guy, there was some potential there. ah, well.
- the car is shaking again. blarg. taking it in tomorrow morning, i'm afraid this is going to be expensive.
the good:
- therapy is going well! tremor boy showed up again, and while i still don't know what to do with him, i'm glad he hasn't dropped out. skin picker is doing ok in terms of progress, and really well in terms of how he feels about therapy. i know that's not a good outcome measure, but at the same time, when he comes in feeling discouraged and leaves feeling hopeful, i'm pleased.
- despite the busyness, i see friends quite frequently, which is so great! weekly sushi outings, weekly dinners at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
koa_'s house, usually some sort of saturday thing...all those add up, in a good way. need4endorphins randomly ended up coming over for an hour last week, coolhandamanda and i even managed to talk on the phone. so that all makes me happy. it's good to know i have people to be with.
- despite how stressed i get sometimes about money, i'm not actually doing badly at this point. i just have to remind myself of this when i stress about things like the car.
- T, M, and i went on an adventure on sunday to look for hot springs! we found one eventually, after about 5 hours of driving and not finding several. driving for 5 hours for what was essentially a soak in the hot tub was a little odd, but we had a fun time. we even saw (and nearly ran over) a javelina!
- i'm visiting cin in san diego in 2 weeks! i think i've mentioned this before, but it continues to be exciting!
- i have a whole bunch of new books! so happy! i love having a to-read list!
the random:
- the cats continue to be neurotic, especially cactus. he has developed a habit of meowing outside my bedroom door while i'm in the living room, suddenly realizing i'm actually in the living room, running over to me, and then struggling to get away and purring at the same time when i grab him and pet him. i don't get it.
- i'm doing several sleep lab overnights in the coming weeks. this is good because of money, but bad because of sleep schedule shifts.
- i think i have a date this weekend, but i'm not totally sure. i'm not sure it's a date as such, and i'm not sure when it's happening, given schedules. heh.
- the foundation my fellowship is from is having a reception next week. this is odd, because it hasn't had any events at all last year, so i have no idea what to expect. still, free food sounds appealing.
- i'm going to the gym twice a week. i can't decide how i feel about this. on the one hand, i know it's a good thing for my health. on the other hand, it's so hard to keep motivating myself, especially since i don't seem to be losing any weight.
- i keep having strange, vivid dreams. they aren't bad dreams, and even the ones that are negative don't seem to come with much emotional content, so i don't wake up distressed. still, they've been highly odd and very, very vivid. this is especially weird for me -- i tend to dream in text rather than images, but these have all been visual.
ok, i think that's all for now. :)
the bad:
- grandma's health. she has a cancerous mass thing near her ovaries, and some spots on her lungs. she'll have surgery to remove the big mass, but since she doesn't want chemo or radiation (and i don't blame her), there's not much to be done about the spots on her lungs. so, surgery in a few weeks, and then...we sit around and let the rest of the cancer kill her? i don't know. this isn't gonna have a good ending. she's 85, this isn't surprising, but i've been lucky enough to have all 4 grandparents alive, and this whole process is traumatic.
- school continues to be overwhelming in parts. i feel like i'm not getting enough done, both for classes and my own research. i still don't have a master's proposal. i'm doing the readings for class, but only the minimum. i'm fairly behind in stats, which is ok (there's not firm deadlines) for now, but means that i'm gonna have to catch up. it's all doable, but overwhelming.
- random meltdowns continue. they've become a lot less severe and less frequent, but i'm still having too many! i'm not a fan of bursting into tears on a regular basis. i did this last year, and it sucked, and then i thought it was over. but no, apparently not. fall appears to be ungood.
- only mildly bad: racecar-building boy is moving to the east coast in a month! boo! this isn't really that bad, given that we've only hung out a few times, and it's not like i'm attached, but it's a little sad! he's a nice guy, there was some potential there. ah, well.
- the car is shaking again. blarg. taking it in tomorrow morning, i'm afraid this is going to be expensive.
the good:
- therapy is going well! tremor boy showed up again, and while i still don't know what to do with him, i'm glad he hasn't dropped out. skin picker is doing ok in terms of progress, and really well in terms of how he feels about therapy. i know that's not a good outcome measure, but at the same time, when he comes in feeling discouraged and leaves feeling hopeful, i'm pleased.
- despite the busyness, i see friends quite frequently, which is so great! weekly sushi outings, weekly dinners at
koa_'s house, usually some sort of saturday thing...all those add up, in a good way. need4endorphins randomly ended up coming over for an hour last week, coolhandamanda and i even managed to talk on the phone. so that all makes me happy. it's good to know i have people to be with. - despite how stressed i get sometimes about money, i'm not actually doing badly at this point. i just have to remind myself of this when i stress about things like the car.
- T, M, and i went on an adventure on sunday to look for hot springs! we found one eventually, after about 5 hours of driving and not finding several. driving for 5 hours for what was essentially a soak in the hot tub was a little odd, but we had a fun time. we even saw (and nearly ran over) a javelina!
- i'm visiting cin in san diego in 2 weeks! i think i've mentioned this before, but it continues to be exciting!
- i have a whole bunch of new books! so happy! i love having a to-read list!
the random:
- the cats continue to be neurotic, especially cactus. he has developed a habit of meowing outside my bedroom door while i'm in the living room, suddenly realizing i'm actually in the living room, running over to me, and then struggling to get away and purring at the same time when i grab him and pet him. i don't get it.
- i'm doing several sleep lab overnights in the coming weeks. this is good because of money, but bad because of sleep schedule shifts.
- i think i have a date this weekend, but i'm not totally sure. i'm not sure it's a date as such, and i'm not sure when it's happening, given schedules. heh.
- the foundation my fellowship is from is having a reception next week. this is odd, because it hasn't had any events at all last year, so i have no idea what to expect. still, free food sounds appealing.
- i'm going to the gym twice a week. i can't decide how i feel about this. on the one hand, i know it's a good thing for my health. on the other hand, it's so hard to keep motivating myself, especially since i don't seem to be losing any weight.
- i keep having strange, vivid dreams. they aren't bad dreams, and even the ones that are negative don't seem to come with much emotional content, so i don't wake up distressed. still, they've been highly odd and very, very vivid. this is especially weird for me -- i tend to dream in text rather than images, but these have all been visual.
ok, i think that's all for now. :)
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