first weekend of the school year also means first homework

[dancingyel]

i have lots of boring stuff to do this weekend...hum reading, which i've done so that's out of the way, math, and lots of o-chem reading. math isn't too hard so far...simple matrices and solving systems of equations...stuff that's pretty elementary, but rather time consuming. o-chem is...scary and sleep inducing describe it best. i can't seem to read that book for longer than a page or two at a time. i think it'll have to wait 'till tomorrow, since i'm not at all up to doing any more reading today.

so i finally got a color printer cartridge, new headphones since mine were crummy, and a book called Christinaity in Jewish Terms which i'm going to return since i found it on amazon for significantly cheaper, with free shipping since i wanted to get another book there, too. it looks really interesting, but i'm gonna hold off on reading it until i get a little more of my math hw done.

i'm feeling weird right now...isolated, for some reason. yesterday's party made me wonder if i'll ever fit in with hillel people. all the tga girls know each other, and while everyone was super sweet and huggy, they all have their other friends. i'm hoping that as the year goes on, we'll become closer as a group, but right now, i'm a little of an outsider still. and it's not just hillel. i'm not all that close to very many people here in general. i wonder if i'll ever meet people i can be close to here in college. if it weren't for the fact that i made lots of friends at massage this summer, i'd doubt my ability to meet new people successfully. as it is, i think that i'm just not that great at finding people to be friends with...massage was unique in that it gave me a chance to be around a whole bunch of people who were a lot like me. here, i have trouble finding people like that. i'm a little like the dancers, a little like hillel people, a little like the navs people i know, but not a lot like any of those. i wish i knew who i am. i miss feeling that i belong to a group.

p.s. i also feel like i don't know what's going on in anyone's lives, except for cindy. none of you people with lj's are keeping them very updated! talk to me! tell me what's up!

Comments

[musicangel687.livejournal.com]

Hey! I wanted to say that I feel the same way in Crusade as you do with Hillel (or so it sounds). Like a lot of the time I feel like I don't really know anyone THAT well and I am just "pretending" to fit in with their group and stuff. I think though, that the more you just push yourself in there and become friends with some of them, the more it will improve. I'm hoping that will work for me as well. =) Yah, and "fitting in" to a group is nice, but I think ppl will really respect you for being your own person too. But I do know what you mean. Actually at times this summer, I was really worried about coming back to Crusade and stuff b/c I didn't know if I really would enjoy it at all. But so far it seems to be going better. The beginning of the year is when the ppl are the most friendly, so reach out sooner rather than later. Anyway, I dunno if that was helpful or not..but just to share that you're definitely not the only person who wonders who you are and what things make up your personality. Hope classes are going well for you so far! See ya soon hopefully! =) Come by and visit Lane and me at La Regencia.