gift shopping and such

[dancingyel]

after going shopping, i feel the need to add my two cents to the current discussion of gift giving. there are so many times when i want to find something for a specific person, but am just unable to think of anything appropriate for them. this is especially true this year, since there are several people i've gotten closer to over the course of the quarter, and who i'd love to get gifts for, but i'm just not sure what they'd like. i want to get something meaningful, something that expresses my gratefulness for their friendship, but i just don't know what that something should be. it is especially dificult to get appropriate gifts for guys...for a girl, i can usually get a picture frame or something cute, and it works. like, for my secret sis's hanukkah gift, i got her a tinkerbell snow-globe, since her aim name is lauriebell, and it worked and she thought it was really cute and a great idea. i would never be able to do something like that for a guy...most of them wouldn't appreciate the cuteness and would just see the gift as a silly thing that i got because i couldn't think of anything better. some guys i can find gifts for without too much trouble, but those are my closest friends, like sam from berkeley and bevan. usually, what ends up happening is that i get cards for others, even though i'd really like to find something nice. some girls are also hard to shop for...there are several girls, off the top of my head, who i'd like to get gifts for this year, but i'm just not close enough to them to have any really good ideas. this leaves me in an awkward place...if i get them something random, it won't be personal and won't mean much, but if i don't get them anything, it'll be even worse because it'll be like i didn't even think them important enough to get something for. and when i give gifts, i don't expect things in return...but at the same time, it's true that people will feel guilty if you get them something and they haven't gotten you anything. there are so many reasons for that...lack of time, not enough of a closeness for any good ideas, simple forgetfulness...but whatever the reason is, they will feel guilty, and while there's not much i can do about it, i still would rather avoid causing guilt for something that isn't really important.

i also think there's a difference between a proper gift and a small token of affection. while gifts are given to express affection, they are also given for specific reasons, such as holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions. smaller presents can be given at any time...these usually don't take any thought at all, at least for me, since i give them when i find things that are perfect for the person. for example, if i find a hedgehog, i'll buy it for cindy and give it to her without a reason, just because i found something she'd like. these kinds of presents can only happen with very close people, since they require a feel for what that person might want, or enjoy when they get it. people i can give these small presents to are also the ones i can easily find bigger gifts for, since i'm close enough to them that i can find things that remind me of them almost anywhere. gifts for everyone else take work and luck of stumbling onto something perfect. so yes. giving gifts is fun and all, but it's also a bit stressful since i want the gifts to express my feelings, yet i don't always know how to do that.

Comments

Greg

[(Anonymous)]

Thats why gifts aren't exchanged in my family unless you're under 18 or over 80.

Re: Greg

[dancingyel.livejournal.com]

heh...that's not a bad way to go...except that i don't usually have too much trouble shopping for my family...it's my friends that take lots of thought. but in general, gifts are fun, so it's not so bad. i was just feeling slightly grumpy and in need of a rant.