it's only the third day of class, and i already feel like i'm falling behind.

[dancingyel]

i have so much reading to do in all of my classes...lots of stuff for o-chem and hum and bio...and also physics, but that's taking a back burner, and there's lit that not only has reading but also movies to watch in my spare time (spare time? what's that?) and problem sets for ochem and physics and other such wonderful stuff. i really don't know what i'm gonna do with all this, and i still wanna dance and be somewhat involved in tga. blah. this quarter is starting off on the wrong foot, what with my being down about dancing yesterday and classes and all. today's dancing was better since it was couples practice and we did tango and i love tango, but it still doesn't make up for my comp issues. i need to start working on my splits. and working out. i think maybe i should hold off on rec classes this quarter. so unless vic comes and tells me he's doing lindy for sure, 100%, i'm not gonna do it...i just don't have the time for it. and i also should work out at least one day a week. overload, for sure. we'll see how it goes the first couple of weeks, but then something may have to go.

so the fact that this quarter is so icky already is making me worried. one of my resolutions (i know, i never actually posted them...but some of them were too personal to let the world see, and i didn't wanna bother with the other ones since they're not as important) was to stay upbeat and not get too emotional without a good reason. but when i'm stressed, i get emotional. and when i get emotional, i get lonely and start wanting things i don't actually want when i'm in normal moods. lately, i've discovered my own independence, and i don't wanna lose sight of that since it's a good thing to have...but when i'm moody, i forget myself sometimes and start feeling like i need people more than i really do. yeah. however much sense that all made...midnight isn't that late, but i'm rambly already.

so now my wallpaper, winamp skin, and screen saver are orlando bloom themed. yes, rather fan-girly of me, but that's ok. i'm sure i'll be forgiven. all that's left to do is customize the sounds somehow...but for that, i'd have to find sound clips somewhere. i may post to the lotr community asking for advice. forgive me my obsession.

i want affectionate friends. friends, become affectionate! it's an order! heh...no, not really. but i crave hugs. take example from my roomie! she used to be a hugaphobe, but now, she can be downright huggy! yes. i like hugs.

i know this is a really random entry, but i just don't quite feel like going to sleep, and i need to ramble for a while. i dunno. i guess i'm often a little off at the beginning of quarters...it just takes me time to settle in and find a good rhythm. and i'm worried about grades, too. what if i don't get in to any med schools? it'll be so horrible if i try and then not get in anywhere...i don't wanna fail like that. oh, man.

ok, i need to end this right now before i get really upset. good night.

try not to think about
what might have been
'cause that was then
and we have taken different roads.
we can't go back again
there's no use giving in
there's no way to know
what might have been

Comments

froma fellow groupie, you are definitely forgiven...

[waccoonie71.livejournal.com]

it only makes sense to want people more when you're down...after all, the people can help cheer you up! the problem comes when you rely on that too much and are incapable of functioning w/o the other people there.

as for hugs, look, i'm a work in progress, okay?