dancingyel: (Default)
...have my yearly yom kippur post!

yom kippur starts in a few hours, so i'm busy in preparations -- hydrating, eating a biggish lunch, contemplating which lights need to be left on, telling people i won't be reachable...and, of course, trying to get into the yom kippur mindset. as always, apologizing to people is hard. i try to be a good friend, and a good person in general, but i know i fall short of that. so i'm sorry to everyone i have (or may have) wronged -- especially, i apologize for not being good at keeping in touch and for neglecting people when i feel too busy. it's easy for me to get wrapped up in my own stuff and whine and complain and forget to be there for people. so, i apologize for that.

going into this yom kippur, like the ones for the past several years, i find myself a little on the fence. on the one hand, there are things i'm repentant for, of course. on the other hand, there are things religion would tell me to be sorry for, but i'm not. it's always a tough balance for me, so we'll see how the day goes this year. and, on a less spiritual note, it's supposed to hit 101 tomorrow. full fast, no water? meep.

logistics: i will be unreachable between 6pm-ish today and 8pm-ish tomorrow. i'll check my email before services start, and then again as soon as it's sundown tomorrow.

if you're fasting, i hope you have an easy and meaningful fast.
dancingyel: (Default)
well, here we are again at yom kippur time. i'm not sure what to write, actually...not quite in yom kippur space yet, not even after thinking about it for several days. weird. hopefully, by the time the fast starts and i'm at services, i'll feel more settled and ready to pray. anyhow, i feel like i should do my regular yearly general apology, so here it is. i haven't done everything the way i wished to this year, particularly when it comes to people. i feel like i haven't kept in touch or responded to comments and emails and such as well as i should have. i've definitely neglected people, and i apologize for that. the thing i feel most sorry for is that i don't do my best in so many situations. i don't give my best effort, not ever, really, and by doing that, i'm short-changing myself, but also all my friends, who surely deserve more than a half-hearted elaine. so, apologies, and an intent to do better next year.

sorry, rambly and vague and not making much sense. it's been an odd year, and an odd few months, and yom kippur is coming way too fast for me. hopefully, i'll get into a good mindset over the next few hours. it'll be difficult tomorrow, since david will be at chemo, the last big dose (and the last dose in general, one hopes) and i can't be there because i'll be at services. meep. but such is life, and that was the timing and yom kippur can't be changed. so there we are.

for all of you who are fasting, have an easy and meaningful fast. for those who are observing in other ways, have a meaningful day in general. and for every one else, if you have fasting friends, be nice to them! no taunting them with food! heh. i will not be reachable until monday night, just so everyone knows. the phone will be off and i won't be going online. see you on the other side!
dancingyel: (close to heaven)
back home from spending pretty much all day at the shul (another word for synagogue, basically). it was really, really good. i used to get pretty depressed about yom kippur because it made me think of all the things i regretted doing in the previous year, and who likes to think about that? but at one point, i realized (or, more likely, it was pointed out by a rabbi sometime) that really, yom kippur is a joyful occasion because it's a chance to apologize and start over with a clean slate, which is something that doesn't happen in most situations. it's like G-d saying, "yeah, you did some not-so-good things and you should feel bad about them, but as long as you come to Me truly repentant, I'll forgive you and let you try to do better next time."

so on top of yom kippur being in general a good day, this year, the fast was actually both easy and meaningful. i wish that for people every year, and it's usually a little true for me...and this year, it was much more than a little true.

cut for rambling )
more to come in the next entry, what with minor epiphanies and all.
dancingyel: (Default)
i know i said the previous entry was my last, but you know me...can't resist the internet! heh. well, it really was that i was looking for directions to the synagogue and found a little article on the website and just absolutely had to post it 'cause it sums up several of my issues.

exactly what i've been telling my family )

ok, putting on skirt and running out the door!
dancingyel: (Default)
so i have my lunch break right now...and i was doing random internet-y things and stumbled upon nanowrimo, which i knew about, but hadn't actually signed up for. i've been thinking about it pretty much every year of college, but just never made a decision. but now i have! so between november 1st and 30th, i will attempt to write 50000 words of something. the question, of course, is what...but no matter, i have a couple of weeks to decide! we'll see if anything comes of it, but at least i've signed up! suggestions for topics are always welcome!

in other news, work is good. i realize i haven't written about it for a while, but that's 'cause it's not that exciting. it's still good, though. i like the people, i'm doing interesting things most of the time, and i'm learning new stuff. happiness.

i really hope someone claims bab5 hosting before i leave work today, 'cause otherwise i won't find out about it until like 8:30 or so tomorrow, after i get back from services and the break-the-fast, which i may or may not actually stay for, depending on how comfortable i feel with the people. but no matter, i'm sure it'll figure itself out one way or another.

i'm actually looking forward to yom kippur, since it's a really good time for reflection. this year has been awesome for me, but there's a lot of room for growth, and it's good to think about that. i'm sure i'll post more after it's all done.

ok, back to work. to everyone who's fasting, have an easy and meaningful fast. talk to you all thursday night!
dancingyel: (cool elf)
wow...haven't posted this late in a while, but this is definitely what happens when i have a computer with internet access available.

so i'm gonna make this a quick sort of post, but what i really want to do is put several general apologies out here, since it's yom kippur soon, and that's a time to find ways to change.

cut, just because )
there are lots of other things i wish i could do differently, but these are the big ones. really, if there's something you wish i would've apologized for and i haven't, leave me a comment. i'll screen them for privacy and i may not get back to you until after yom kippur, but i will answer as soon as possible.

i will, in all probability, post once more before the start of yom kippur. good night for now!

woohoo!

Oct. 11th, 2005 07:32 pm
dancingyel: (Default)
guess what? i'm updating from my appartment, from my computer, from the internet connection in my room! yayness! it all works! now we just need to get a wireless router so that kevin can also have internet in his room, but at least we know it works! and i have my computer back and healthy and working, thanks to the boy! happiness!

in other news, tomorrow at sundown is yom kippur and i will probably have a longer post about it in the morning, but just in case i don't, i should warn you all that i will be unreachable from sundown tomorrow to sundown thursday. that is all.
dancingyel: (Default)
so today at sundown is the start of yom kippur, and since it falls on shabbat this year, i've decided to actually keep shabbat. this is turning out to be much more complicated than I had originally thought, but it's ok. i'll give it my best shot. what this means, though, is that i won't be around online 'till saturday night, nor will i be answering my phone. so yeah...unless it's an emergency, don't call...and if it's an emergency, call my land line (858)535-1492 and my roommate will deal with it.

before i leave to take care of last minute stuff, i'd like to do the standard yom kippur apology thing. if i've done something to make you angry or upset, i apologize. specifically, sorry, avi, for the fact that i'm never around and don't respond very promptly. also, sorry cin for all the negative things i've said/though due to the issues around the end of the year last year. and sorry sam for general negativity. and everyone else who i can't think of specific things for, i'm sure i've done stuff that wasn't meant to offend but did, and for that i apologize.

anyone who's fasting, i hope you have an easy and meaningful fast. see you all later!

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