elaine's strange little world

well, here we are again at yom kippur time. i'm not sure what to write, actually...not quite in yom kippur space yet, not even after thinking about it for several days. weird. hopefully, by the time the fast starts and i'm at services, i'll feel more settled and ready to pray. anyhow, i feel like i should do my regular yearly general apology, so here it is. i haven't done everything the way i wished to this year, particularly when it comes to people. i feel like i haven't kept in touch or responded to comments and emails and such as well as i should have. i've definitely neglected people, and i apologize for that. the thing i feel most sorry for is that i don't do my best in so many situations. i don't give my best effort, not ever, really, and by doing that, i'm short-changing myself, but also all my friends, who surely deserve more than a half-hearted elaine. so, apologies, and an intent to do better next year.

sorry, rambly and vague and not making much sense. it's been an odd year, and an odd few months, and yom kippur is coming way too fast for me. hopefully, i'll get into a good mindset over the next few hours. it'll be difficult tomorrow, since david will be at chemo, the last big dose (and the last dose in general, one hopes) and i can't be there because i'll be at services. meep. but such is life, and that was the timing and yom kippur can't be changed. so there we are.

for all of you who are fasting, have an easy and meaningful fast. for those who are observing in other ways, have a meaningful day in general. and for every one else, if you have fasting friends, be nice to them! no taunting them with food! heh. i will not be reachable until monday night, just so everyone knows. the phone will be off and i won't be going online. see you on the other side!

i know i said the previous entry was my last, but you know me...can't resist the internet! heh. well, it really was that i was looking for directions to the synagogue and found a little article on the website and just absolutely had to post it 'cause it sums up several of my issues.

( exactly what i've been telling my family )

ok, putting on skirt and running out the door!

wow...haven't posted this late in a while, but this is definitely what happens when i have a computer with internet access available.

so i'm gonna make this a quick sort of post, but what i really want to do is put several general apologies out here, since it's yom kippur soon, and that's a time to find ways to change.

( cut, just because )

there are lots of other things i wish i could do differently, but these are the big ones. really, if there's something you wish i would've apologized for and i haven't, leave me a comment. i'll screen them for privacy and i may not get back to you until after yom kippur, but i will answer as soon as possible.

i will, in all probability, post once more before the start of yom kippur. good night for now!

so today at sundown is the start of yom kippur, and since it falls on shabbat this year, i've decided to actually keep shabbat. this is turning out to be much more complicated than I had originally thought, but it's ok. i'll give it my best shot. what this means, though, is that i won't be around online 'till saturday night, nor will i be answering my phone. so yeah...unless it's an emergency, don't call...and if it's an emergency, call my land line (858)535-1492 and my roommate will deal with it.

before i leave to take care of last minute stuff, i'd like to do the standard yom kippur apology thing. if i've done something to make you angry or upset, i apologize. specifically, sorry, avi, for the fact that i'm never around and don't respond very promptly. also, sorry cin for all the negative things i've said/though due to the issues around the end of the year last year. and sorry sam for general negativity. and everyone else who i can't think of specific things for, i'm sure i've done stuff that wasn't meant to offend but did, and for that i apologize.

anyone who's fasting, i hope you have an easy and meaningful fast. see you all later!