bother

i told a friend i was feeling lonely and not particularly loved.

if someone i love said that to me, i'd tell them i love them, even if i knew they knew it...just to remind them that even when they feel that the world doesn't love them, there are people who do. sounds like a logical thing to do, right? apparently not, since nothing remotely similar happened. it's funny...he wasn't the cause of my loneliness, but the fact that he did nothing to try and cheer me up made my mood go from mildly lonely to really bad in a hurry. lovely, isn't it.

i miss how it used to be. i miss feeling like there's someone who cares about me. i miss knowing i'm loved.

i miss cindy...she'd know what to do with me and my mood. or nikki. she'd know, too. i rather miss our collective idiot. hey, that made me smile. well, on that note, i'll go to sleep.

one more thing before i go

i was just looking over a letter i wrote a while ago to a friend...started to cry as i read it...but found this wonderful quote in it that i must keep reminding myself of.

"Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."

must remember this fact. really must remember it.

"i love you so much, sweetie." that's what i said.

=)

today is a better day. lots of sleep and good letters do wonders for my state of mind. i am reassured. now i'm off to write a reply.

quote time!

here are some quotes i found randomly...enjoy!

In the cookies of life, friends are the chocolate chips."--unknown
hehehe...you guys are my chocolate chips! i love that!

“Real love hurts, real love makes you totally open and vulnerable, real love will take you far behind yourself, and therefore real love will devastate you,if love does not shatter you, you will not know love.”--unknown
yep...that's all there is to say about this one.

Isn't it funny how a heart is shaped like two upside-down teardrops....”--unknown
never thought of it that way...

“I'd rather have a moment of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.”--Steel Magnolias
this is exactly why i do silly things and remember little details.

more to come later...either this evening or tommorrow

more quotes!

i decided to stay and look for more cool quotes...so here they are!

"I like to fall in love with my close guy friends. It makes things more interesting, don’t ya think?" -- unknown
i really hope this one's sarcastic...

"I remember thinking I'll go on forever knowing I'll see you again. But I know the touch of you is hard to remember But like that touch I've known no other. And for sure we have danced in the risk of each other. Would you like to dance around the world with me? I'll be falling all about my own thing and i know you're the heaviest weight when you're not here that's hung around my head." DMB
i really like this one...and for sure we have danced in the risk of each other...that's just...wow...

"In your black and white world-you see things a different way-and that is with only one solution-the right one. But mine is different-I see mine in gray-where there are many other options and harder decisions to make-and that is what made me fall in love with you and that is what is tearing us apart."
mmmmm...

"Mr. Right is coming, but he's in Africa and he's walking."
lol...i don't think mine's in africa, though...maybe in israel or something...but that's scary...what if he gets attacked by terrorists? right...

ok, that's really it since i have stuff to do...more to come sometime in the future.

dancing is always fun

had a really nice time tonight...got to talk to some people i haven't seen in a while, which was nice. i love dancing, and being at arthur murray when i'm in the city is great. the people there are the best. everyone is funny and nice and lots of fun to dance with, especially the teachers. and paul is the same as always...funny, flirty, and hot. he and i have the funniest exchanges the whole time. it's great.

there's something almost intimate about coming home smelling like someone's (nice) cologne. it's an interesting feeling.