quick question

[dancingyel]

how do you bring up serious relationship topics without being all scary and making the other person think something is wrong? 'cause i have some things i want to discuss with the boy, but i'm not sure how to start the conversation in a normal, non-scary fashion. i also don't want to pretend to "accidentally" stumble on the topic, which is a tactic that often works, but is really not what i'm going for here.

Comments

[kryscat]

I'm really bad at bringing things up. Mostly I find it hard to just spit it out at all. It's not that I say things poorly, just hard to start. That's just me though.

Perhaps saying something along the lines of wanting to check in periodically on the relationship and how you're both feeling about it/envisioning it. Communication is absolutely key in any healthy relationship, and you shouldn't let yourself be inhibited from bringing up any issue you feel needs discussion. I don't know what it is that you want to discuss, but actually scheduling such things works for some people. *shrug* I don't know. Rob and I tend to be almost scarily on the same page with most things, but we do check in and discuss things when either of us feels the need.

[dancingyel.livejournal.com]

i'm similarly bad at bringing things up, at least in a direct way. i tend to wind around topics for too long, which makes it seem more like something is wrong when it really isn't. i don't think scheduling would work for me, since it feels way too formal, but you're right, wanting to check in periodically is a good way to start a conversation. thanks for the advice!