quick question

[dancingyel]

how do you bring up serious relationship topics without being all scary and making the other person think something is wrong? 'cause i have some things i want to discuss with the boy, but i'm not sure how to start the conversation in a normal, non-scary fashion. i also don't want to pretend to "accidentally" stumble on the topic, which is a tactic that often works, but is really not what i'm going for here.

Comments

[myrn.livejournal.com]

What I would probably do is just avoid the topic all together. Wait, no, that's not helpful at all. ahem.
What I would probably do is come up with a way to ask the pertinent question in a single sentence that takes less than 10 seconds to say. Then just say it (ask it?). And then before he can answer it or even get too confused, you can do the normal ease-into-the-topic thing, only he won't be nervous cause he already knows what the question is!
or, perhaps a more useful suggestion is to remember that even if the topic is serious, you're still allowed to smile.

[dancingyel.livejournal.com]

hehehe...oh, thomas. you're always good at cracking me up. yes, smiling is a good thing...i probably get too intense when i'm focused on something, so yeah, remembering to smile is good. i'm not sure i have any idea what you mean by the ask question in a single sentence thing, but that's ok. *hugs*

[newerabooks.livejournal.com]

Oh, I see what he's saying. If you take too long, the other person will either get confused and tune out or think they understand the gist of it and jump to conclusions. People try to read the meaning under the words, which is what you're concerned about, so don't use enough words to give him a running chance at preemptive analysis. Use just enough to get the idea across, then switch to explaining and reassuring.
Helpful? No?

[dancingyel.livejournal.com]

ah, that makes a lot more sense. that's a good point...giving a short summary and then explaining the details is a v. good plan. definitely helpful!

[waccoonie71.livejournal.com]

it's like writing a paper for hum...thesis first, then explain away for the next 7 pages...only there's really only about two pages' worth of stuff to say, but what with all the winding around and using big words it turns out to be much longer. hence the necessity of a thesis statement. and a conclusion paragraph that you can just skip to.

[dancingyel.livejournal.com]

hehehe...oh, cin. that's such a great analogy! you dork! *hugs* i haven't thought about hum papers in a very long time.